the wellness community

by Nancy Colton

Until October, 2005, I was living what I believed to be the normal life of a working mom. Earlier that year, my husband and I had taken a Caribbean cruise to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. I was busy raising my three boys -- the oldest was a senior in high school and we were in the process of submitting college applications; my middle son was in his first year of high school going through all the usual freshman stuff; my youngest had just started first grade and was keeping very busy playing soccer. My parents, my husband's parents, and both our brother's families lived in the general area and were well integrated in our lives. Life was going along just fine.

Who would have ever guessed that I would end up celebrating Breast Cancer Awareness Month in October of 2005 by being diagnosed with "invasive ductal carcinoma" (translation CANCER)?

Let me not forget to mention that, as part of my "normal life," I had been getting annual mammograms since I turned 40. I had annual "well woman" exams with my most excellent and thorough gynecologist (which, of course, included breast examinations) and did regular self-exams. However, my tumor, which was just under 3 cm when I discovered it, seemed to just appear out of nowhere…

Those of you who haven’t been directly involved in the cancer journey, either your own, or with a family member or friend, can only imagine how life changes when a person is diagnosed with cancer. Your daily routine and life as you know it ends, and you are thrown into a whirlwind of doctor appointments, tests, scans, surgeries, medications and various treatments with even more varied results. I had just completed my bilateral mastectomy and begun reconstruction surgery, when I was urged by my cousin (herself a breast cancer survivor and an MD) to request a full body PET/CT scan to make sure that the cancer hadn't spread. My oncologist at the time told me that it was not standard operating procedure and was probably not necessary, but at my insistence, along with that of my husband and my mother, he agreed.

I was actually in an operating room about to have a port inserted into my chest through which chemo would be administered to kill off any remaining cancer cells when my oncologist called the surgeon to cancel the procedure. This could not be good news. The results of the PET/CT scan showed that my disease was worse than we had thought -- the cancer had in fact already spread to my bones. We were now dealing with Stage IV metastatic cancer, which is, at the moment, incurable. So, now I was no longer living the life of a normal working mom, but was trying to figure out how I was going to live as a Breast Cancer ‘survivor’. So much for the public oversimplification of "did you catch it early?" -- the fact that my breast cancer had already spread to my bones gave the doctors reason to believe that I'd had the disease for anywhere from 5 - 8 years!

So, this is what I figured out immediately…

• cancer sucks!
• cancer is a disease that affects your entire being, it is not just isolated to certain body parts;
• cancer affects everyone in your life (even if everyone tells you "it's all about you"); and
• life continues…college applications still need to be completed, homework still needs to get done, you still have to brush your teeth every day, -- well, you get the idea…

What it took me some time to figure out is how to live life again -- how to figure out what my new "normal" was going to look like; how to find a way to help myself, not just the cancer in my body…

It was in January, 2006, that I found a place, right here in Westlake, that prior to getting cancer I never knew existed. It‘s called The Wellness Community Valley/Ventura (TWC VV). TWC VV is part of an international not-for-profit organization that provides a place of warmth and good company where adults with cancer and their families gather to form an extended family of people fighting cancer together. The Wellness Community provides a wide variety of programs including support groups for patients and their families, mind-and-body programs such as yoga, tai chi and mindful stress reduction. There are also social programs, such as art and quilting, and even programs designed especially for children of cancer patients. TWC also hosts many special guest speakers, experts in various aspects of cancer research or treatment, for the benefit not only of Wellness participants, but of other people in our community.

I don't know how anyone could manage this journey alone; but nobody has to, if they take advantage of the gift of The Wellness Community. I’m fortunate to have an excellent team of doctors, who are working hard to get my cancer under control, and a good health insurance plan. But, not everyone is that lucky and, believe me, cancer isn't cheap. When you’re faced with the cost of surgery, hospital bills, doctor bills, medication and treatment, the last thing on a cancer patient's mind is coming up with the money for a yoga class – and yet, the benefit they get from the yoga class is invaluable. Thanks to the generous support of corporate sponsors, individual contributions and fundraising events, all of these programs are provided at The Wellness Community free of charge.

Cancer does not discriminate. It afflicts people of all ages, races, religions, economic status and intelligence. Some people smoke, drink, eat poorly, and do all the wrong things and never get cancer; others do all the right things and still get cancer… Listen, I have a husband, three kids, three dogs and a full time job in Century City -- I don't have time for cancer! But we don't choose cancer, it chooses us. For me, keeping my head in a good place is 90% of the battle. Doing so enables me to feel like I have some control over choices I make, how I choose to live my life, and what I choose to do to help treat my disease. I choose to participate at The Wellness Community.

The Wellness Community also does not discriminate. It is there for all cancer patients and their families and support people. It has now been almost two years since I began my personal battle with metastatic breast cancer. It has definitely been an "E" ticket ride on the emotional rollercoaster that goes along with the "wait and see" aspect of this disease. I exhausted the hormone-related treatments with little to no success, except for keeping the cancer contained to my bones and not allowing it to spread to any organs or soft tissue; I have recently begun my journey into the world of chemotherapy. The good news is that, after over a year of nothing working, this new chemo combo is fighting my cancer and making progress. My tumor markers have been heading down (this is good) and my last scans showed “No New Lesions” and “Moderately Smaller and Fewer Lesions” (this is miraculous!) But now, learning to deal with the side-effects of my treatment, while still working full time and being a wife and mother has brought a new set of challenges -- a need for me again to figure out what my new "normal" will be.

I continue to be blessed with the love and support from my husband, children, parents, doctors, family, friends, and the Wellness Community. Believe me, the support I get is as important to me as the medications I take.

The most amazing aspect of this life-changing event I've experienced is gaining the perspective of how important it is to live life in the moment. Yesterday is over, we don't know how many tomorrows we have, so best thing to do is live today, right now, in the moment, find some joy in every day. I learned this lesson by participating at The Wellness Community.

It is paradoxical for me to say, in one sentence, that I have an incurable form of cancer and in the next to say how lucky I am. I plan to do all I can to live long enough for some brilliant scientist to find a cure for my cancer and I know that the support I receive from my family, friends, as well as the participants, staff, and board members at The Wellness Community will be there with me every step of the way. I am so lucky to have found this wonderful place.